Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Meijer and the grocery-rage customer

before you get the wrong impression of me, let me make one thing clear: I'm not a hateful person. I see the silver linings, I believe in the common courtesies, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

because I am the above-mentioned, and more, I am a helpful person. I'm a little taller than the average american woman. so, at Meijer, I help the shorter people get the goods from the top shelf. I will lift the 40 pound kitty litter for the 70 year-old cat-hoarder woman. when the "buy 4 cans of corn for $1" display is in the middle of the store and not on the shelf, I will inform the perplexed customers staring at the empty, supposed-to-be-corn shelf. I'm a people helping person.

I guess that's why I am always surprised when I run into people that aren't as altruistic as me. case in point...

not so much now, but about six years ago, the Meijer aisles were very narrow. I would often skip an aisle all together because there was no room for me and my hulking cart. on this particular day I needed to buy some hair color. of course, hair color isn't the type of item that you can reach over and grab on the fly. I have to search for the brand I want, (l'oreal--yes, I believe I'm worth it!) then I have to search for the color, I'm always torn between medium brown and light medium brown (sheesh).

well, I turn the corner to where I know the hair color is located and there before me is a very large woman. now, when I say large I mean six feet tall and about three to four feet wide. LARGE! there is literally, no way I can manuever myself or the cart to look for my hair color. I decide to wait, hoping that the woman's sixth sense will take over and she will know I am behind her waiting to peruse the very section she is looking/screening.

no dice.

I try the cough, nothing. little "excuse me" squeal. nada. so, I go for the pleading, I need help tactic. it goes something like this, "sorry, but do you see the l'oreal hai..." before I could finish my plea to her humanity, this elephantine human wheeled on me, voice box blaring.

"I do not come here to be asked questions! I do not work here, I am not here to help you, I am not here to make your life easy. You move yo-self and your coughs and your questions away from me..."

I know when not to respond. there are some people that you just don't give the withering looks to, you don't roll your eyes at them, and you certainly don't tell them to go to hell.

the noise kept blaring. after the first "I do not..." I quickly turned my cart around, reassuring myself that my grey roots weren't that noticeable.

Meijer crazies= 1 traci= 2

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