Saturday, December 09, 2017

Meijer and the Christmas cart outlier

CHRISTMAS UPDATE: so while Meijer still hasn't jingled-up their decor game, I am seeing evidence that my fellow Meijer customers are gettin' in the mood.

you know I have a strict "no perusing others' carts" policy, but during The Season, it's nearly impossible to not see the Christmas cheer tetris-ed into Meijer carts. 

dozens of carts, filled with multiple tubes of vertically splayed wrapping paper, bags and bags of multi-color sticker bows (inter-mingled with multi-packs of scotch tape), roam the Meijer superstore maze. 

the Christmas Ferrero Rocher hoarders' carts are the prettiest--love seeing the dazzling golden-foiled globes of chocolate and hazelnut--makes one almost forget the effects of sugar-induced diabetes. #almost 

of course, don't forget the carts stacked with boxes of Legos and Disney princess dolls, along with slim DVD cases filling in the gaps. all these carts SCREAM their Christmas mood.

so *overt eye-roll* obvious. 

and frankly, obvious isn't what I do. my blog tagline clearly states, 


"just a girl with a knack for observing the ridiculous.

so there I am, 20 items in my cart, looking for the shortest cashier line (my grocery count disqualifies me for the u-scan, curses!), resolved that today's Meijer experience will be ridiculous-free, when-- I happened upon this (☟) Christmas Cart...



I don't know about you, but when I see Gram-Grams & Pop-Pop's cart filled with 12 bottles of Pine-Sol, 10 cans of Maxwell House, 5 boxes each of Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes, along with 16 bags of Goldfish crackers, my brain whirrrrs into action, eager to explain the cart's nearly inexplicable Christmas riddle.

here's my brain's proof that this is a Christmas Cart, albeit an outlier... 

GG & PP are hosting Christmas this year. so naturally, Grams will vigorously scrub the entire house clean with her trusty 1957-era disinfectant/cleaner. after a good floor to ceiling wipe-down, she'll have 1 bottle left to add to the live Christmas tree's water basin--Gram-Gram's version of "aromatherapy."

the boxes of cereal and goldfish crackers definitely support the Christmas hosts theory. clearly their grandkids are coming and, even though the house will reek of Pine-Sol, GG & PP don't want to be known as the stodgy grandparents, so they purchased the "fun" cereal for breakfast, and the "modern" Goldfish crackers. 

the Maxwell House? GG & PP aren't stupid. they know all those carbs on the conveyer belt will keep their third generation Froot Loop inhalers bouncing off the squeaky-clean freshly Pine-scented walls, so they've wisely stocked up on caffeine--10 cans should be enough for Christmas weekend, right?

ho-ho-ho!