pics for this post! 🤳🏼 🎉
when I took these pics, a Meijer associate, sitting Godfather-esque on a battery-drained electric cart, took umbrage at my blatant photoshoot of her fiefdom.
"can I help you?"
I kept snapping pics. I'm so good at ignoring supposed authority figures, especially when they are 20-something, unwashed hair, mouth-breathers.
MB shifted in her defunct electric throne, "ma'am?! can I help you?"
nary a glance as I walk away, "no."
a passive-aggressive spewing of "how dare she?!" snorts/grunts churned in my wake, but 🤷🏻♀️, my dedication to blog integrity trumps all Meijer associates' (aka #Meijersnowflakes™️) pretend indignation.
let's unpack the pics...
I've only been out of the state for a few weeks, and this ⬇︎ is what I walk in to:
14 cashier-run/conveyor belt cattle customer chutes... GONE!
plus(!) 6 u-scan kiosks e l i m i n a t e d! 👀 (sidenote: zoom in, I just noticed that I captured the Godfather MB on her throne!)
thrilled-at-the-possibilities-goosebumps whooshed across my skin: has the superstore been chosen for a modern-techno-whiz-bang check-out pilot program?
🙏🏽 🤞🏼
exhibit a:
nope. *thrilled goosebumps deflate*
huh, the superstore just became Walmart.
yeeppp, take it all in folks; black pegboards cowhand-designed to guide all carts and shuffling bodies into a 12 kiosk corral, with only 1 SotPoP!! 🤠
after snapping the not-up-and-running-yet corral pic, and ignoring the MB, I hurry to the east side entrance, not sure what to expect amongst all the dizzying possibilities a-whirring inside my mind.
I skid to a stop, the SAME 12 kiosk corral(!) plus a winding line of befuddled Meijer cattle (not even going to bother with the strike-through, cattle is spot-on) all collectively unsure whether they are in line to checkout/escape, or have mistakenly signed up for a preg-check 😳
the flying solo, exasperated SotPop (no doubt wishing she had a Meijer-issued cattle prod) is inundated with impatient bellows demanding attention for out-of-date coupons, faded UPC codes, u-scan sensor double-scanning, weight/scale malfunctions, the mystery u-scan offense, and the KarenCow insisting the Franzia box wine is on sale. #moooooo!
I watch SotPop escape the corral, headed toward the Podium of Power, when an elderly bovine points to a very short line and asks, "cash?" SotPop shakes her head, "credit only."
intrigued at the short line, I investigate...
exhibit b:
behold! the new and improved(?) express u-scans...
true to superstore logic, there are only 3 of them (well, this pic shows only 1 working kiosk), credit card only, carts discouraged, and just enough space for 1 bag of items.
*sigh*
some of my fave words are: change, progress, technology and mucho more that denote getting me through a blankety-blank check-out lane sooner(!)… but tbh, I fear this corral make-over is a giant leap backwards.
*sudden realization gasp!* they got rid of the dedicated check-out lanes for the shipt/instacart/doordash multi-orders per cart shoppers!!
⬆︎ the 20th Century, brought back to you by Moo-jer, the soooperstore. 🐮
