UPDATE: November 17, 2020...
the second set of motion-sensor doors open, my lungs fill with a hopeful inhale of holiday decoration anticipation(!) ... only to exhale out a disappointed blurt,
"seriously?!"
I check the date of the not-quite season post, I could've sworn I learned the holiday decor heartbreak-lesson and waited even longer before going to Meijer in November...
"November 8th." I mutter from behind my mask.
"No ma'am, it's the 17th today," Masked Greeter Man clarifies, spritzes a paper towel with disinfectant, then offers it in lieu of the more valuable than gold antibacterial wipe for my germ-infected cart.
distracted, I go through the motions of cleaning my COVID super-spreader cart, and scan the ceiling of the superstore, expecting, no, wanting Meijer's tacky/ginormous cardboard Christmas tree ornaments to twist awkwardly in the superstore's climate controlled breeze.
nothing.
I purposely head to the plus-size headless mannequins, hoping for an ugly Christmas sweater, or even plus-size sexy-Mrs. Claus lingerie (Santa baby indeed! *sexy growl*)
nothing.
my pace quickens. I hold out hope that the east-side will burst with--well, if not Christmas, at least Thanksgiving decor!
my eyes dart left, center, right, searching for punkin' pie, or a theme of red, yellow, brown leaves, on placemats, or printed on the fancy-thick paper napkins, or even that cartoon turkey mascot reminding me "don't forget the stuffing!" (side note: it's macabre when cartoon turkeys encourage their doom; but hey, turkeys aren't exactly smart, sooo...)
nothing.
memories of November 8, 2017's post, and my current lack of holiday cheer surroundings on November 17, 2020, swirl. I attempt to align my chakras (actually, I just took in a deep breath--that counts, right?) as I wade through my incongruent reality...
"so, no holiday decorations, even though I waited an entire week+ longer, and *insert math computation whirring sound* it's only 9 days until Thanksgiving?!"
more counting, lightheadedness threatens...
"which means only 38 days 'til Christmas!!"
I bah-humbugg-ed the rest of my shopping excursion--well, because I was raised in the South, that means I still said "hello" as I passed fellow humans, but I didn't bother to physically smile behind my mask. #shameful
now in a checkout line, I center my cart over the 6' apart sticker. totally bummed, I look up from my phone, hoping that maybe the cashier is wearing a rack of reindeer antlers, or an elf hat-- heck, at this point, my cheer-o-meter would skyrocket if she was snacking on a giant turkey leg in one hand, and a slice of apple pie in the other!
nothing.
my head lowers... I shuffle forward, pausing to let people move passed me when, suddenly(!), to my left, my peripheral vision catches red, yellow, then green. my observation skillz snap to attention... could it be--
SOMETHING?!
