Friday, February 17, 2017

Meijer and the chair


my, "it's 4:45pm, it's been a busy day, better stop by Meijer to pick up dinner (the ginormous Meijer Super Sub for $5)," jaunt had an interesting, no unsettling plot twist.

a New Greeter lady.
a chair.

mind blown yet? no?

NG lady was sitting in the chair! 


in my long-suffering 20 years of Meijerdom, I have never, and I mean ne-ver, experienced the greeter + chair combo. my observation has been that greeters stand because they also have responsibilities to straighten the area, help with directions, answer silly questions--"are you open yet?", and intervene with the occasional thwarting of the sinister types when the security mwhaa-mwhaa sound goes off.

it still doesn't compute, I mean, she is younger (by at least 15 years!) than every other greeter that I have half-heartedly, half-smiled at. 

can you even fathom how weird it is to walk through the airlock-- per normal, hear the doors whoosh open-- per normal, to then be bludgeoned with a perfectly healthy 50 year old, sitting in a chair-- not per normal? 

that's off-guard catching enough, but then, slouching-on-the-armrest NG lady looks at me with a blank look, as if she's totally bored by 5th period biology, and proceeds to give me the half-hearted head nod. no chirpy "welcome to Meijer" script, no working-to-be-sincere smile-- a head nod.

I was half-hearted outdone by the chair-sitting NG lady!

my feelings exactly, Keanu. #soulmates

*cue mind blown* 

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