Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Meijer and the scales of equality

if I had to label, or classify myself, I'd say I'm your typical omnivore.

I like plants.
I like meat.

I even tolerate them both on the same plate. 
it's about equality, people. E-qual-i-ty.

and just to be clear, I respect the other 2 -vores; the herbivores and carnivores. heaven knows I've had a few close calls with them when they morphed into angry-vores. more than once, under the superstore's roof, I've been just i n c h e s away from certain death(!)-- if it wasn't for my sharp mind, and the brussels sprouts distraction... *shutters* that herbivore would've gutted me. #smalltalkgonewrong

so yeah, respect.

but let's be honest. there is a bias toward the carnivores at Meijer. the biggest, glaring example that comes to mind is this...

versus this...
(full disclosure, the 2 pics above are google images. thanks, google!)

meat is weighed via super exact, digital-displayed science, wrapped (sometimes pre-wrapped!) and the smooth (never folded) UPC code label is affixed; with nice large type. ta-da! your brain-cell killing time at the cashier and/or u-scan just shaved off 2 minutes! lucky you, carnivore. lucky you. 

whereas, the herbivore and omnivore suckers are still dealing with the Machiavellian world of spring scales. and don't even get me started on the minuscule, always crumpled produce "labels." 

or the phenomena of me choosing all the beauty Honey Crisp apples to discover at the u-scan that none of my choices have a PLU label! sucks for you herbivore and omnivore, you get 4+ minutes added to your brain-cell killing check-out experience. #podiumofpowerpolitics

yep, the Meijer herbivores and omnivores have been dealing with these inequality shenanigans for decades, with only a brief respite when we stumble into a Wegman's, or some other type of unknown store, that cares for the struggling plant-eater.

so imagine my SHOCK when I approached the beloved Honey Crisp apple display...
(full disclosure, that's my pic. you can tell because it's a little blurry--my hands were shaking with excitement)

*silent rejoicing*

*clutches heart moment*

*remaining brain-cells squeal with delight*

equality, "coming soon."

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