Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Meijer and the horror(!)


strange things are happening at the superstore.
and when I say "strange," I mean horror-flick-worthy, watch-your-back strange.

1. the east/west entrances have been sealed up. now there's a centered, one-way-in and one-way-out, opening. walking along the chainlink/plastic-wall lined entrance feels like we are cattle being funneled to our doom. *noisy gulp* even the Tuesday senior citizen crowd are whimpering, "I'm too young to die!"

2. the creepy, white-plastic curtain-walls are everywhere. I seriously tempted fate by pulling back one of the thick curtains (I know curiosity killed the cat, but I had to know--for your reading benefit!), industrial strength linoleum is gone! they've dug down passed pipes, passed cement and have exposed dirt, real dirt. by the way, the smell of fresh dirt in no way conjures up the image of "six feet under." *heavy sarcasm*

3. everyone is wearing a hard hat, except the clueless Meijer customers. we shuffle around this plastic wall maze in a perplexed daze, following hand made signs that read: "meat department this way... trust me." 

obviously I made it out alive, but only because I took precautions: I bought elephant garlic, (the bigger the better, right?), and kosher salt (Supernatural fans understand). I didn't wear a red shirt (Trekkies know), and not once did I say... 

"it'll be fine-- what's the worst that can happen?"

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