first, let me say that unlike past years, this year I just wasn't feeling the black friday love. my normal awake at 3:30am because I'm so excited about the deals, slipped into 5:30 am. I stumbled into the car, armed with my prioritized list and found myself near the Wal-Mart parking lot. that's right, near. I could only get near the parking lot since the entire 15 acres of parking lot was filled! being half an hour late to the bf party put me at a distinct disadvantage. the cashier lane lines were so long and packed so tight, I couldn't even get passed them to get to the toy department. I turned around and left, my mood becoming more Scrooge like at an alarming rate.
had better luck at Target, Old Navy and Michael's and at 7am with my outlook shifting from "bah humbug" to "Happy Holidays," I decided to make a stop at the heretofore dreaded Meijer. with what I had already experienced at Wal-Mart and Target, I was bracing for the worst...
the first thing I noticed as I walked into Meijer was how quiet it was--too quiet; eerily quiet, ghost town quiet, deathly quiet, library quiet, graveyard quiet, calm before the storm quiet, lecture on "why Latin is a dead language" quiet. (side note: you ever notice how repeating a word over and over can make it sound strange? I just realized the same applies to typing a word over and over--quiet suddenly looks strange.)
I grab one of the dozens of carts from the corral and make my way to the electronics corner. no compelling urge to hurry, no worries about angry backlashes for accidentally bumping into a fellow bf-er. electronics is empty save one english-is-my-second-language Indian and one Meijer associate trying to communicate through loud-speak, "I SAID WE WILL NOT MATCH COMPETITOR'S PRICES ON BLACK FRIDAY!" (I know. he's not deaf. volume won't make him suddenly understand) and vehement ad pointing. I casually saunter up to the untouched bin of jump drives--1 item per customer limit--and fling one into my empty cart. whoop-de-do!
I pass a Meijer associate guarding/standing near a stack of flat screen tv's for $250. I pause and look at the stack. while I read the box details, I notice the associate raise her eyebrows in hopeful anticipation, ready and willing to fling a tv into my cart if I so desired. as it was, I did not desire. I looked at her, shrugged my shoulders and moved on. visibly crushed, associate tries a new sales tactic by rearranging the tv boxes into a stack more feng shui appealing.
my black friday purchases at Meijer consisted of one jump drive for $4.99, 3 pillows for $10, 3 pack of tape for $1.50, 1 bag of 50 count bows for $2.00, Goody hairbands for 50% off, and a 3 roll pack of wrapping paper for 50% off. that was it. I'll say it again, without the sarcastic exclamation point and emphatic italic font: whoop-de-do.