from the moment I strong-walked in to the superstore--typically a bustle of Thanksgiving and Christmas Black Friday anticipation/excitement--I sensed it; a disturbing lack of holiday excitement.
no frenetic searches for the mathematically optimum number of dinner rolls. no heart-tenderizing moments between polarized generations agreeing on favorite side-dishes that must be on the table. no profound relief at the glorious sight of deep fresh-produce bins bursting with sweet potatoes and Yukon Golds...
all the lack of those moments, in a place brimming with abundance, put me on edge.
I scoured the superstore searching, desperately searching, for a moment, a convo, an expression--something that would inspire a Thanksgiving-Eve-Holiday-Cheer-post to end 2019.
I swung into the baking aisle, so positive baking supplies would be a gold mine of Thanksgiving Eve spirit and/or heart-wrenching drama.
nope.
my disappointment expressed itself through my nervous foot-tapping, but not to the beat of the Little Drummer Boy from the overhead sound system— instead, a Pet Shop Boys “classic" pop song.
"no Christmas music." I gasped.
my cart stopped alongside the cooler cabinets, I bit my lip, brow furrowed.
"no Christmas snowflake graphics on the egg cartons."
panicked, my eyes flitted upwards, scanning the warehouse eaves, from one end of the massive superstore to the other.
"no Christmas decorations swaying from fishing line." I muttered to no one.
a pattern was forming. a sinister, holiday-sparkle-destroying pattern.
I numbly waited in the checkout line, in shock really.
I searched the other 9 open checkout lanes (only 10 out of 36 lanes?!), hoping for a last chance, a last something that could turn this non-holiday mood into something touching, heart-warming, something spectacularly compelling... but all I saw were blank, tired, and jaded faces.
then, it happened.
Big Intimidating Dude--wiry, unkempt long hair, "natural" beard (no beard oil or fancy "shaping"), worn hoodie, covered by an even more worn jean jacket--locked eyes with me.
clearly he had watched me as I watched the zombie-esque others. it was a moment of social-awkward dread that my nightmares are filled with. a moment that in normal circumstances would make me dart my eyes in a panic-driven alternate direction.
but somehow-- somehow I resisted that evolutionary fight or flight reaction, and held my eye-gazing ground. the corner of my mouth raised ever so slightly, a sheepish attempt at a holiday cheering smile.
B.I.D.'s face lit up with genuine mirth, I wasn't close enough to hear his laugh, but from the spontaneous wake-up reaction of those closer to him, it seemed like a much-needed jolly oasis.
sheepish smile no more, I was full-on, teeth-showing, cheeks rosy-ing smiling.
aaaannnd, I felt my eyes sparkle. I just knew my eyes holiday-sparkled, at least as much as B.I.D's did.
